I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He felt like a one man threesome
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
