It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
