is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Damn victory sex feels great
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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