Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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