how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
