I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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