Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
thus making me awesome and them whores
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
