I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
