I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
