Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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