BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
