no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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