Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
