ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i love accidental penises.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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