If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
