Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
