dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
