He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
