His pubic hair was longer than his dick
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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