if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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