it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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