Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My pussy is not your playground.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
