He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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