Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
