I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
