I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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