i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
