Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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