Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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