You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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