I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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