We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
