Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
