We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
