Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need water and some morals
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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