Define "chronic" masturbator.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
