He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
