your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
