It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
