I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
