Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
