Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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