do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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