He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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