Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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