i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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