Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
