Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I have fence marks all over my body
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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