What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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