Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Holy sore nipples Batman
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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