I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
