All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
